I am speaking out, I am depressed. You say it will be “fun,” but I don’t have the first clue what “fun” is. On a more physical outer level, you may notice a change in your appetite and sleep cycles. “who I am” is always going to be someone with depression. She knew dozens of people who she had helped along their wa. We act as someone who must tolerate somewhat soul destroying boredom. But we need to remember that it is depression that is messing with our concentration and attention levels and it is not us who is doing that on purpose. I'm an absolute mess. i knew what i was, but who i was was a completely different thing. I suppose you could call this in some ways a crisis of identity. You feel like you lose control easily at the slightest drop of a hat. And that’s exactly who I am supposed to be. Counselling will utilize theories such as Cognitive behavioural therapy which will help you live a more fulfilling life. You see, the cheerful me doesn't need any help and the miserable depressed me feels like he's beyond help. 45, also known as 'the midlife crisis' point, tends to have people pondering 'Do I really want to keep living like this? After almost 18 years of trying, I have finally gotten to a point of stability. I don't want to. We wish to be happy and smile but something inside feels broken and does not let us be happy. Without that manual, we're left 'winging it' (life), wondering what we're doing 'wrong'. Use of this website is conditional upon your acceptance of our User Agreement. We no longer feel like taking part in them as that would require putting in effort and energy, something we feel that we do not have. Found inside – Page 88(It took nine months of therapy to make the client tell me this story) Dialogue therapy in the first two months: Mikkel ... Mikkel: I am depressed, my girlfriend Birgit, tells me that I am very closed towards her and take no initiative. A mental health professional for example could give us feedback about ourselves that we might not believe... i think sometimes these struggles can be aided in a sort of back-to-front way.... mindfulness can help us just observe our thoughts and worries and let them be.... and then, paradoxically, we can sometimes get some more insight .... just a thought of something that helps me. I’ve spent thousands of dollars, and gone into debt, trying to find something that would make me a functional human. in reply to. thank you. One way you can do this is to start thinking about the things that you like and that are important to you. So you could say we begin acting. I recently read an article about self-esteem and that without self-understanding, you cannot feel anything good about yourself simply because you don't know what you are. From being a lively person, full of life turning into a person who is having suicidal thoughts, you are bound to feel like you are not yourself and feel like ‘I don’t know who I am with depression.’. So when someone asks me what I did over the weekend, I tell them the truth: I screamed bad words at the TV while knitting a pair of neon leg warmers and eating soup. My development of things that brought me positive feelings stopped before my 11th birthday. I have done all I can but seem to be redundant. Show full articles without "Continue Reading" button for {0} hours. She was an amazing person. Found inside – Page 115'Yea, yea, yea' ('this is so boring I don't want to hear it', equated with 'I am depressed and cannot take it in'); ' 'It's hopeless' ('I'm helpless'); ' 'I'm fine' (denial). The common factor in our listed behaviours (which cannot be ... So, 'Who am I? I don’t know “who I am” because I never got the chance to find out. Accepting the challenges remains key. What she did- it was kinda crazy what kind of influence she had on people. Sometimes we start to feel better and happier but then poof it’s gone and sadness creeps back in. I developed seizures as an adult, with no apparent cause. https://www.healthline.com/health/what-you-should-know-high-functioning-depression#1.-You-feel-like-youre-constantly-faking-it, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/25-things-people-said-that-were-actually-code-for-im_b_5ba24edbe4b086ac5a9e0884, https://www.forbes.com/sites/stevenberglas/2011/08/17/ten-signs-youre-depressed-but-dont-know-it/?sh=31169d4e71aa, Restarting Your life after depression (Top 5 tips), I Need To Talk To Someone About My Depression. I'm 28 years old and I've completely lost myself. I know people have much more reason to be depressed than someone like myself but I just constantly felt flat and lost searching for how I am supposed to be and what makes me who I am. We try to make sure that we do not burden the other person with our problems and therefore try to maintain a distance from everyone. It is obvious for us to feel ‘I don’t know who I am with depression.’ Because you are not, especially for people who are extroverts, not talking, and interacting with your friends and family is not you. Found inside – Page 190She worked the 11 PM-to-7 AM shift mostly so I didn't see her much during the day. Her major philosophy can be summed up as, ''Get with the program!'' She was not an emotional person and everything had to fit into her scheduled program. Another good question 'Who is raising me and who is bringing me down?' Found insidePlease sympathise, empathise if you can, but please do not tell me you know how I feel. ... I am trained in psychoanalysis, I have run a psychology department in a secondary school for several years, and I suffer from severe depression. Read this article to understand what it really feels like to have serious depression, and how this . Found inside“I know that, too.” “Because it was—at first I thought we had something really happening, you know, and then when I thought you were squirreling out on me, I did some thinking.” “Okay.” “And I don't know if I am ready for the kind of ... We feel like our friends and family deserve someone who will be there in case of emergency and our partners deserve someone who can love them and be there for them. OptimistMinds do not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. But video games don't even cut it anymore now I have anhedonia for everything. That’s the only way we can improve. 4. I wish all the best for you :D. That's so good to hear, I'm glad you are giving bullet journaling a go again! From my experience, being sensitive is exactly what allows us to do this. So you keep it all inside and distance others so that they can not see that something is troubling and eating you up from the inside. We feel like someone has drained out all the energy from our body and left us only with our body structure. I didn’t receive treatment until I was 17, at which point I was deeply depressed and suicidal. One common but exceedingly dumb way to dull the feeling of helplessness brought on by . Hey therising, thank you so much for this. We need to understand that it is not something that we are doing on purpose, no one wants to be sad, everyone wants to be happy. Home » Mental health » Depression » I don’t know who I am with depression (Help! But video games don't even cut it anymore now I have anhedonia for everything. I dont know how to say this. I have a wife I can not confide in, and if I do it turns into an . Found insideI have little abilityto help anyone else when I am depressed. If a person comesto me for treatment of adepression, and I am depressed myself thatday, I know that I am notgoing to be able to help. In sucha situation,I wouldset up ... Really. Found inside – Page 152He adds that this form is absent in 'tragic and hopeless cases', and this is what we find in depression. There is a loss of narrative openness, ... I don't usually dwell on the past but when I am depressed things just pop into my head. Will I travel to places I've never been before? Just because I’m in recovery and doing well doesn’t mean I don’t have depression. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression, (social) anxiety, and pseudobulbar affect. Clover Health jumps 14% in premarket trading as frenzy continues. But there where certain moments in the last 15 years where I still could enjoy video games it helped me coped with the depression. However, I would still try to discern when to listen to your gut i. Interesting you should ask this question because it's a realization that I've come to recently that I shared with my psychologist. However, there are many ways in which this mental health disorder can be treated, from talking therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy or counselling, to medications such as SSRIs (antidepressants) which help to increase serotonin in the brain to counter feelings of low-mood. Because of depression, we are not able to give our best efforts and abilities to a task and feel guilty about it. I pray and it helps but there is something that I can not change and it is making me depressed. Who do we begin life as? Found insideA must-have for anyone who wants to end their depression, anger, addictive habits, or anxiety--and especially for those who want to alleviate these difficulties with psychological savvy instead of medication. The endless search for meaning!! Depression can completely take over our lives and turn us into a version of ours that is unfamiliar and not liked by us. I'm sorry you are struggling and that sound hards to feel like you don't recognise yourself. I have no idea if I want to go hang out with friends because I’m not sure I’ve ever done it beyond some obligatory gathering which I escaped as quickly as possible. Then, when all this acting becomes intolerable, we just can't stand it anymore, having lost our self so much. in reply to. I'm 28 years old and I've completely lost myself. is asked in one way or another. I don't know what I am anymore. I don't know what I want, I don't know what I want to do and I don't know what can make me feel better. When wonder itself leads us to explore possibilities, this is where the game of 'Follow the leader' becomes kind of magical. Anything more or less than this is not healthy. I think I truly believe now that I'm good for nothing. We act as thinkers, leaving little room for inspiration to come in. Being depressed is so tiring at times in itself that even without performing any activity all day we feel low on energy and tired. So I kept trying other medications, but my lack of success led to a label of “refractory depression” or “treatment-resistant depression.” It was an understatement. To say 'I understand the self I have become vs the self I naturally am' is a good start. Hi. You are not your depression. My name is Kayla. We feel like sleeping all day and even after waking up from a 10-hour sleep, we feel drowsy and want to go back to sleep. My brain never developed any “adult” hobbies or interests because it was too busy trying not to self-destruct. Even the simplest of tasks like waking up from ur beds feels unmanageable and tiring. I always feel bad and I think of hurting myself a lot, I'm always depressed and I cry for no reason, I'm always tired and I don't enjoy doing what I did before. We feel like sleeping all day and even after waking up from a 10-hour sleep, we feel drowsy and want to go back to sleep. I really need to know'. Sounds like you had fun with bullet journalling - your inspiring me also to give it a go. Questioning 'Where did this or that belief of mine come from and is it actually mine to begin with or was it taught to me?' how does it taste? I don't know what I want, I don't know what I want to do and I don't know what can make me feel better. The answer will never change: I am forever going to be my natural self, someone evolving and never settling for a life I can not tolerate'. Because of depression, you feel not only sad all the time but also agitated and irritated by everything in your surroundings including yourself. But with depression, these activities start to look like chores that need to be done. We hope you have gotten some advice and insight on the forum- there have been some great responses so far, cheers everyone. This is actually a directive to be insensitive. Found inside – Page 165While 12-year-old Anja was silently making a drawing, we had been talking about her depression for 15 minutes. ... me was the empty space I read in Mother's words – '... but I don't know what' – and in Anja's words – '... and so on'. We all have hobbies and interests that bring us joy and happiness, we find pleasure in engaging in those activities. Upskilling hasn't helped. It's just about acknowledging what you feel in the moment- how does this sound for you? This makes social interaction that much more tough to engage in. Even the simplest of tasks like waking up from ur beds feels unmanageable and tiring. That kid always looking for excitement until we're told to focus more on boring responsibilities, that kid who is taught impulse control, to the degree where we're conditioned to think everything through, that kid who wonders about all the endless possibilities born through our imagination until we're told to 'get real', that kid who questions all things questionable until we're told 'Stop questioning so much'. I've been dealing with depression for the first time this year since March and despite the helps I got through medical professionals and friends, I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia. Help for depression. We need to remember that it is not the activity or our interest that has turned boring or uninteresting, it is depression that makes us feel tired from doing it. I could relate to everything you said and it helps to know that a lot of people does go through the same stage! If you feel like you don't know who you are, it can be helpful to spend some time getting to know yourself better. I've had depression for over 20 years. Because of depression we start to over-analyze every move of ours and become highly self-critical about our behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. It turns out, I still do. NewAccess – Mental health coaching support, Create your Beyond Now safety plan online, Recovering from a mental health condition, Supporting someone with a mental health condition, Supporting someone to see a health professional, Building resilience in children aged 0–12: A practice guide, Signs and symptoms of anxiety and depression in older people, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, intersex (LGBTI), bodily, gender and sexuality diverse people, Resilience in the face of change: stories of transmen, At home - everything you need for a healthy family, Visit the Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service, Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, intersex, queer (LGBTIQ+) people, Supporting someone with depression or anxiety. Or perhaps I was trying to self-medicate by eating anything I had, not even tasting it, just trying to feel better somehow. We feel like we don’t even know ourselves and see a completely different person in the mirror when we wake up. writing is the way out, perhaps. Can I really identify with it or do I hate it? Every day feels like I'm just wasting more and more of my life and it's a really bad feeling. Found inside – Page 119Further, these qualities, though naturalized, are negatively valued, as when Claire describes her depression as a direct ... wondering if it's because I'm (really) depressed and I don't know it or because (1.0) that's just who I am (.) ... Found inside – Page 181(16) Ithinki suffer from depression, i always feel sad, i am having trouble sleeping, and i cut myself. some friends do know of my problem, but they prefer me 2 hide it because i bring them all down! and i don't trust anyone else that i ... With this compassionate guide, you’ll begin the process of understanding your perfectionism, identifying destructive beliefs, and connecting with emotions suppressed for far too long. 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