Now I’m the one starting everything. How do you feel for someone who doesn't let you in, who flip flops on their feelings for you, who doesn't do anything romantic, who barely tells you he loves you, who doesn't plan anything, who is so defensive if you ask questions and goes from a 1 to a 10 in anger, who doesn't show appreciation, who doesn't seem to care for your feelings. It’s not because he’s ignorant, it’s because he’s unsure of his own words. These words are for us all. And more importantly, give yourself space. im finding that he prefers to do other things than spend time with me like at the moment he is cutting the grass and cleaning his car instead of spending time with me, when we have not seen eachother much for the past week and will not next week as he works night shifts. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I always believe that everything works out for the best and happens for a good reason. He begs and pleads that I let him go. "I love hard." I have been very sad for a few weeks because my boyfriend and I don’t talk as we used to. I always say that he’s just trying to instigate me and keep fighting but he claims he doesn’t like fighting. https://howtogetaguytowantyou.com/how-to-handle-your-long-distance-relationship/. A week later I went to his house in which he professed that he loved me and didn’t mean what he had said for an hour. We do foreplay and I … He says he’s content with how we’re doing. Here’s the other part that I need to get out of my chest because it scares me… Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. Please tell me what this means and if he still has feelings for me. what surprises me is that why is still telling me that we gonna fix things and still want have sex with me. He is o.k now, and so are you. Everything is going great for you now and your relationship is good. Alex, Me and my boyfriend have grown apart we used to have a great sex life and relationship. Following this incident, he told me he needed ‘5 minutes’ and upon returning to the flat he said “I think it’s best you go home”, so listening to him and not wanting to prolong his mood I left. The problem is not with him, it’s with your thoughts about yourself. Signs He Doesn’t Love You Sign One. I thought we were forming an even deeper question. Im with my boyfriend for 4 years now. His best friend is a woman, which I respect but I don’t think he handles the dynamic very well. But I would spend my nights there. Then I offered to come to his new apartment since I hadn’t seen it and he told me he didn’t want “our emotions to raise being around a bed” so i said “omg that makes sense u seemed like u didn’t want me to cone before” and he assumed i was mad, but i reassured him that i wasn’t and that id just like to see him. What is there to miscommunicate about if we know each other like the back of our hands? I know I’m being a hypocrite for saying so because I’m too wimpy to bring this up with MY boyfriend, but I know it’s the right thing to do. He was once my boy best friend for about 1 year then he started catching feelings for me. Not my birthday or even when we had our anniversary. But no kissing. Your fear of being lonely hasn’t benefitted you, it has only led you to him – a man who doesn’t know how to love. He took care of me like my father would. It doesn’t feel like he’s putting in as much energy, attention, and focus. During our finals week I was sick. No one likes to be told what to do. The question here is what’s right for you in this situation. Good luck! howtogetaguytowantyou.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for website owners to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com, endless.com, smallparts.com, myhabit.com, and any other website that may be affiliated with Amazon Service LLC Associates Program. Made me soup. We fought. However after that, he spent most of his time playing games with his friends. please help me. He also told me to move out. I don’t have a secret formula obviously, I can only tell you what I would do if I were you, and that is trying the 60-day no contact. I was indenial, thinking that its a phase. You exemplify that love is an action! The more calm and relaxed you’ll be, the more he will be too. I would move on. I dated a guy 5 years ago and everything was fine for 2years till distance separated us and communication between us came at a standstill. A common friend said don’t take him at face value right now because these things are being said across continents and he will be back in a few days. That’s why he said “I guess not”. I’ve spoke about it so many times with him and he just says what more do you want we are fine am no different am still the happy loving person I’ve always been, but he can’t see that he isn’t the same person anymore and I don’t no if he loves me either he always made sure I knew I was loved on the phone leaving little notes around the house just telling me to my face and now the last time he told me was December. I am verry positive so far and am dealing well with my life without him but inside i am kinda scared of loosing him . We had a great relationship – Just like yours. We’ve never had this much space from eachother and it feels good. I’m sure he misses you. You can’t ignore those little signs that your boyfriend shows less affection or no longer loves you. How to Handle Your Boyfriend’s Lack of Effort. I’ve said it to him probably like 3 or 4 times in the last 7 months. I wanted to have a date night but his female friend said she needed to talk to him. That doesn't necessarily mean your ex loved you more; that's just the way he or she thought love should go. We have a pretty good relationship. But your reaction has scared him and he doesn’t know how to deal with your grief. Please read your question again and see in every line what went wrong, and how next time you can do things differently. Should I move on I mean he’s been able to call his friends and his mother but not me?? Don’t you want better for yourself? Also, I wouldn’t ask him about him being interested in you or other girls for now, at all. I hope this helps and all the best to you. If you have been together for years and he claims that he doesn’t know if he’s ready to marry you, the chances are that he knows you’re not the one, and he won’t marry you. Sometimes, you can barely express your feelings – it’s hard to put them into words. Learn how your comment data is processed. Photo credit: Pexels.com. Our sex life is great. But that doesn't mean it has to be the end of the road. It depends on too many things. After a few months are closeness did begin to get a bit heavy and we both recognised this and agreed to try to put some space between us. If he doesn’t understand these hints, don’t panic. everything!!! The more important thing to focus on is not be in a place where you have to ask money from guys, right?…. I felt that he was more distance, i thought it was just work related. I usually think that our inner voice, that little voice nagging you that he is less interested, is right. Because I adore him. If I asked him what it was like to be your boyfriend, I’ll bet he’d reply with some version of, “I love her deeply, but I can’t seem to please her. Your whole life is ahead of you and you can start over and wipe away your past today. And whenever we get into really big fights we always say that we’re done and whatever but he never actually leaves. He claimed he waited for me while I thought he stylishly broke up with me and well I moved on. We loved and cared about each other. He will respect your ideas and opinions, even when he doesn't agree with them. To violate their trust. So he is staying in the relationship just so that we both work things out. He isn’t romantic with me either and he doesn’t buy me stuff except for Christmas. So the only thing left for me to do is WAIT…AGAIN. After opening the door he told me I shouldn’t be there and he wanted me to leave. We tried to be apart. I hope this helps, it’s just my 2 cents. I just dont know what to do. On the other hand i kept irritating him via calls/sms that made him annoyed. I refused to take the hints. Take this month to focus on yourself and staying as calm as you can. Love does not always require physical touch. He gave me a key to his house and has said he wants me to be involved in decisions in his new house. Hard as you try to show him how to love, your efforts are unlikely to bear fruit. This is not betrayal, it’s the truth. Is he having a breakdown? It doesn’t hurt to … I have a question I have been in a relationship for 6 months it’s a long distance relationship about an hour away.He works mon – sat from 8am until 10pm hours vary. He told me that in the future he wants to live in a different country, but never mentioned anything about me coming with him. Stayed by me 24/7. I think that your boyfriend sadly wants to end this. My Bf and I are opposites. (Pros & Cons). I think that your instincts are probably right, and he is doing the “fade out” breakup with you (meaning he is slowly disappearing because he fears doing it face to face). He doesn’t care if I go out or hang out with other guys, but it has been that way from the very beginning. This guy and I have been dating for 3 months (exclusively dating only). Than you’ll be able to know whether to stay with him through this, or not. We are still talking with each other right now, just to keep the love alive. By simply learning how the male mind works, and why they can leave the perfect girl (you!) If I even mention anything about it I am the one the is blamed. Love never dies, relationships do, unfortunately. I really do want him in my life. [Read: 25 easy tips to make your boyfriend happy everyday] #1 He remembers what you say. he dosent even Glace twice. He definitely wants us to work and has talked about seeing a therapist since this is a trend in all his relationships. 1. to get my head straight?”. He doesn’t look at me the way he used to, he seems to touch me less, he ended up making a dating site in front of me just to look at other girls. My boyfriend says he doesn’t know what he feels anymore and he tries to remind himself that he loves me and he feels all this is because of distance that he feels when he sees me all will be ok and he says he doesn’t want me to leave his life and he feels breaking up with me will be a decision he will always regret and he doesn’t want me to hate him… What should I do?? Get away from that pesky phone, put your laptop away, and clear your head of the day’s stress. And when ever I bring up how I feel about things it turns into a argument and he’ll make a comment like why are you asking stupid questions then unturn it around to make me guilty, like I’m the wrong one. It kils me to know how he has changed towards me but I decided to leave the relationship for good. So is he now treating me like a little sister that he is responsible for since i stay at his house, or does he still have feeling for me and is trying to fix it but wont show affection because of his ego? … You'll know because they make it a point to ask — and if they don't… #2 He’s chivalrous and treats you like a lady. If you feel your boyfriend lacks on this front, it is a sign you lack communication in your relationship. long story short he seen his ex when he went back to his home state and told me he fell back in love with her , and he fell out of love with me , he didnt love me anymore and all this , ofcourse cried pleaded and everything i even said me or her , he said he cant promie me he’s gonna cut her off , and even after this i still decided to sty by his side for like 3 weeks after that , everything was actuallly going okay , no argueing , no fussing . and when i ask him a question it looks like he want and on the same time doesnt want to answer me. ), and your boyfriend might feel like the luckiest, most-loved guy alive. He doesn’t want to talk about it. When you try to engage him in a conversation about the state of your marriage, he doesn’t want to know. i did loved your article and i would like to ask a question. The more you chase him the more he’ll run away. I can see a future with him if we can just make it through the years we have to spend apart (we have two more years to go after fall of 2017). I know I should be worried and I am, but should I break up with him like NOW or work it out??? Thank you. All of this of course without any anger or bad energy. The pulling away from me started when the job started. We would see each other 1-3 times a month and communicate everyday. Should i ask for him back for the sake of our child and my feelings or should i let him wild it up in the single life he seems so happy with. I don’t know if it’s just me being paranoid or it’s the truth and he doesn’t want to admit it. In this Ask Sally column, 32 year old Lisa says, ‘My boyfriend doesn’t satisfy me sexually’. And now, since yesterday. Now, I usually have to wait for his response after he’s finished playing, completely. But ask 50 of them why their last relationship didn't last, and 46 of them are going to say, "It was just a little miscommunication, I guess.". Read: 12 clear ways to know if he serious about you. So am I. I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years and recently I’ve noticed him distancing himself away from me. I think a good place to start, is to try to unpack why it is you feel unloved by him, then work together to find a way forward. He always would say he doesn’t want a relationship but nothing changed. When your man asks you what's wrong and you say, "Nothing," knowing damn well you're mad that date nights have become nonexistent and his boys come over way too much? This is critical. A stranger to me. When I came back, I notice that he doesn’t treat me like he used to treat me. But when i checked his whatsapp with his Mum, when she asked him if we were both back on good terms, he answered No, she is findiing a house to move. I will tell you this though: What we think is what we are. I am so confused as i dont know wether he still likes me or not. Even tough you told him to take some time to figure out what he honestly wanted, because you would be fine regardless of whatever he decided to do. Yesterday we conclude not to see each other for days, just to see how he feels. i forgave him, asked him to get it cleaned(that was in March) but up to now, he has not done anything about it, though i ask him about it. I told him that I’m here and will be there as long as he wants me to. "A major case study of the book concerns men who have murdered their wives or partners allegedly 'out of love'. But I’m not convinced. That person doesn't know what to say when you're upset about not getting that job because he or she doesn't understand how passionate you are about it. Here’s a post that I think will help you: https://howtogetaguytowantyou.com/make-your-boyfriend-love-you-more/. 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